Reflecting!

I keep being reminded of how awesome God is! I spent some time talking with a friend I had not "talked to" in a while! So amazing to see where God takes us and sees us through! I was encouraged by her sweet spirit, and just reminded me of how blessed I am to be where I am! To look back on my life and know that the God of the Universe has seen me through the good and the bad! Hearing where she has been and what God has healed her from was beautiful! Inspirational at that!

Then yesterday I get an amazing phone call from some friends of mine...16 years....16 years they tried to have a baby and now are calling to spread the news that God is faithful!!! I, with many tears was rejoicing with them. Do you know that never....not once have I herd this precious couple complain about the circumstance that they were given....People all around them are having babies, and nothing but joy and excitement came from them! What A testament! To have prayed for them, and even when I lost hope they remained confident.

I have friends, family that have lost children....a loss I find UN imaginable, and the pain and agony, I pray hard that I never have to experience this first hand. But these people are renewed their spirit is renewed and they have hope, and their heart's mended.

These, and many other moments of God pouring his grace on not just myself, but the ones I love around me, are why I am thankful. My heart is full and HE is enough! There have been broken relationships in my life but I believe God is faithful and He will renew...in His perfect time he will renew.

My daily challenge is that I will be satisfied, that I will be content, and that those around me will know that there is a God out there who can relate, who repairs, who heals, who mends. This is for His glory! I am for His glory. I pray my boys will be strong men of God that they run and chase hard after Him. When they experience deep hurt, I pray they turn to Him, when they experience deep joy, I pray they see Him there!!

Makes me think of this.....

We are here for HIS glory!

I am back!!

Finally, I am home from what was a wonderful little getaway! Although I missed my hubby terribly, it was nice to just hang out and relax, spend time with my dad and my aunts and my grand mom, my cousin...you get the drift!

Today was my first official photo shoot of the new year and I was super excited! This whole thing has gotten in my blood, now I really crave to be creative and take pictures! So it was nice to get back to it! The family I shot today was so nice and sweet! I am forever grateful that I gain new friends from this line of work!

Christmas and New Years were awesome! I am so looking forward to this year personally and professionally! Paul and I have both purchased gym memberships...scary I know but we have decided to take hold of our health and make 2009 our year! So 4 days a week my hubs and I will have a date on the treadmill!! I think it will be real fun!

Now professionally, there are some awesome thing happening with my business Sugar Snap Photography! I cannot divulge all that is happening now, but I am THRILLED with what we have coming down the pipes! So I will keep everyone updated as I release new things in that area!

A few tings I am going to work hard to do, keep up with my personal blog, I will strive to do one post a day! I just don't feel lead to write everyday, but I will try...another will be to take a picture a day, not a self portrait but an image that represents what we did each day.....who knows. I am a sanguine so this may not last past this week, but my intentions were good!! HaHa!

Resolutions...

First of all, I am not a huge fan of resolutions...I think maybe because I am not really good at keeping them, and if I get off track then I tend to give up....Not my best character trait here...

This year has been a bit different, I have really had an amazing year and looking back I am more and more aware of God's hand in my life!

So after much hesitation, I am fully confident in my resolution being to take some time to sit back and recognize all that God is doing around me. May sound silly to some, but in the past year I have been more and more in tune with His Holy Spirit and I am so thankful for it! Not that I have arrived....there are moments of a "flesh lapse" but they tend not to last as long! Praise the Lord.

My prayer has always and will continue to be for God to change the offensive ways in me, but I will now add that my spirit will be open....simply open to hear what my heavenly Father has to tell me or better yet, teach me.

I am really looking forward to this year, I can't really say why, except that I really do feel new, rejuvenated and ready for anything. I am ready, ready to take on this wonderful gift I have been given. I am ready to get my priorities straight and I am super pumped about it!

I have been blessed with an amazing family, my hubby and my babies hung the moon and I am just smitten with the three of them. I am blessed and more aware than ever how fast and easy time or people can be taken from us, so I will enjoy this time as it passes ever so quickly, by continuing to etch these moments on the tablet of my heart! For these are the most important people in my life!

One of Many!

So last night a friend of mine took me out to dinner for my birthday....yes my birthday was last month but we are just now finding time to get together and do this! I am so thankful for Cynthia, she has been a friend of mine for many years now, and even though we have had times where we were closer than others we always kept in touch and each time we spoke it was like we never had a lapse in conversations.

Cynthia was there through the dating times of Paul and I, she has always encouraged me and spurred me on to be a better woman. She loves people is a great baker and has a beautiful family!

Cynthia, thank you for making me feel so special, and thank you for taking the time out to let me know it! I am so thankful for the many different seasons of our friendship. It seems like yesterday we were planning our weddings together and then rejoicing in the news of upcoming motherhood together as well, you have been with me through some major changes in my life, and I love you very much.

I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends, Cynthia is one of many that God has blessed me with, and I am thankful for all the lovely ladies in my life, you all are special to me in your own unique ways!

Bert's Farm!

I should start this post off by saying, only have pictures of Judd, because Bowen would not stand still long enough to allow me to snap anything worth keeping, so Yes I have 2 kids, but this is the one who still has not gotten the walking thing down yet!!!

Every year my family makes a trip up to Bert's Pumpkin Patch! These pumpkins are huge and I love them. I love the whole atmosphere of it all, the fall leaves, crisp breeze, boiled peanuts, cotton candy, Carmel apples....I could go on forever! It is a blast! And I love the tradition of it all for us, it is free to get in, and we typically will resort to purchasing a pumpkin from Wal-Mart, to save some pennies! But either way it is fun!!This year we went up there with some of our very dear friends the Ford's. We love this family and were so glad they joined us on this beautiful day! Here are a few shots. Judd was great, he sat still for me to take pictures....Bowen on the other hand ran around crazy playing hide and seek with Paul the whole time so I snagged what I could!

I love this time of year, I love the anticipation of "going to Bert's" I think it is one for sure day out of the whole year where I know I will get to enjoy spending the day with my favorite people! After the farm, we always head to this little hole in the wall called Under the Hemlock, it is a great place right next to Bert's and we eat hot dogs, chips and a Coke! It is cheap but we love it and you sit outside on the picnic tables and just enjoy the day! Plus the kids can run around and play to!

I am Super PUMPED, for this trip next year, we will have our camper!!! I think we are looking at making a weekend out of it!! I can't wait!! Me and my family had tons of summer memories in a camper and I am elated to pass this tradition on to my boys, and start making our own family memories!!

P.S I miss you Grandpop!!!

Where to begin......what a birthday!

It is the end of what has been the best birthday of my life......

I don't know where to start, I fell like the story could go on forever,so I am just going to type, and pray that everyone can follow all that is going on in my world, in my mind and in my heart.....so here it goes.....

I should start by saying that I am and have always been thankful for Gods provision in my life! I thank Him daily for my family, husband , children, house...a lot of different things and He has ALWAYS provided, in some form or fashion. We may not have a cent extra at the end of the pay period, but we want for nothing... But, today was different. I have been wailing since this afternoon, when I got a call from my friend relaying a message from my angel.....

It was my birthday and I received a ton of calls, emails and such wishing me a happy one thank you all so much for thinking of me, it warms my heart to feel as loved as I have felt today. So thank you all again. One call was different, it did not start off that way, this messenger is a very dear friend of mine so of coarse we laughed and joked around and had our usual conversation and questions. Some how it came up that our heat was out, I was really bragging on my girlfriends cause last night they brought me 4 heaters to heat my freezing house.This friend was unaware of the fact that we had no heat (not on the top of my list of happy things to talk about I guess) someone got wind that we had no heat, and called her up to tell her they wanted to help us out and fix whatever was wrong with it........WHAT!

I say WHAT so emphatically because I was a bit confused at first, I did not think I was hearing her correctly, someone who wants to remain nameless wants to send a heater fixer to my house and fix it for us, just does not make sense to me! My sweet messenger friend is sworn to secrecy and I am not allowed to ask any questions.

I am asking again, are you sure it is us, are you sure they don't want to help someone else? We do have 4 heaters (thanks ladies, I love you)? I would understand if they found this out that they would not want to follow through....I get it, there are people who are far worse off then us. She reassured me that this is what they feel led to do for us!!

Can I just tell you what a humbling experience it was for me, to allow this blessing to come my way. We need heat, I certainly can not have my babies in a freezing cold house, we just went through 2 ear infections and an Er visit a couple days ago...we need heat.

My heart, my mind can not wrap around this whole thing yet, I am so very grateful. My heart is full, the fact that someone is doing this for my family, when they don't have to.... we are in a economic crisis now, and someone wants to help my family, I am in awe, in awe of a God that promises to never leave me or forsake me. A God who promises that I will never be given more than I can bear. A God who promises me that if I walk with Him my burden will be light. A God who says rejoice, I will supply your every need.... I stand in awe...

To our Angel,

Where to begin to express my heartfelt gratitude? What words could possibly let you know how you have blessed us. I am So thankful. I think it is even more beautiful that you want no name but HIS attached to the blessing. I don't know how you found out our circumstances ....I believe it was a God thing, that was the only way our heat was getting fixed. With all that is in me I am encouraged by your kindness! We have witnessed first hand God intervening for us in a huge way. I was able to share my story of your generosity to some family members who I don't believe have a relationship or know our Lord, and they were blown away, they could not believe it. I want you to know that your gift was so much more than heat... I pray that you will read this, that you will know how much it has meant to my family. What an amazing birthday gift, what an amazing story to tell my kids of Gods love and provision, what an example of obedience.

If I knew who you were, I would hug your neck... From all the Estes we thank you, we thank God for using you to bless us. I have prayed all day that you would be blessed in return triple what you have done for us. I am so humbled by your gift.

I pray that one day we will be able to bless and encourage others the way you have blessed and encouraged us. May God Bless you.

So I am suppose to hear from the heater fixer by tomorrow, wow, I cry as I type...I love music, that is my favorite way to worship, I have been singing HIS praises all day.

My in laws made me dinner and the whole family was there to celebrate me, thank you all as well, I love you! My girlfriends made the night special too with campfire, hot coco and great conversation, you are the best friends any girl could ever ask for(believe me I asked/prayed for you), you all encourage me daily and I am so thankful for each one of you...

To my very dear and precious husband....I know this has been a hard time for you, and I know accepting these blessings from others is even more difficult, but be encouraged that I would stand beside you and be happiest in the freezing cold for the rest of my life if I had to as long as I had you beside me. I promised you almost 4 years ago that I would love you forever and I mean that more today then yesterday. You provide for your family in more ways then you know. I am honored to be your wife, through the calm and through the storm!!! I love you!

I don't know how to end this except to say thank you God, I stand in awe of you once again...your love for my family is astounding.

How great is our GOD!!

What a Weekend!

Before I get into the detail of this post I want to say thank you so much to all my amazing friends and family who prayed, called and emailed to check in on my family! It means more to me then you all will ever know! So again, thank you!!

Saturday night is when it all started Bowen woke up in the middle of the night and said his ear needed a band aid. Obviously his ear wash hurting, so I gave him some Motrin and we attempted to go back to sleep and get some rest. Needless to say, rest was not in the forecast for our family this weekend. After a long night full of whimpers and coughs, I woke up and headed to my friends house, she has drops to numb the ear and also antibacterial drops as well. In my mind I am hoping and praying that the drops will work and we can hold off from the Emergency Room and as soon as I wake up Monday morning I would make an appointment!

All day Sunday Bowen did fine, again a bit fussy with minor complaints about his ears I thought we would be in the clear till Monday! So Sunday night we get all the kids in bed and Paul heads to sleep, I am up editing pictures and Judd wails out this horrible scream (I have not ever herd this type of scream before) I run into the bedroom and pick him up....he is on fire, I mean SO hot. I take all of his clothes off to try to cool him down and his entire body is beet red, it looks like he had a sunburn all over his body. I go and get the thermometer and take his temp...104.7!! I am freaking out a bit at this point cause 105 is the limit for taking them to the ER, so I am nervous, praying that God would take down the temp a bit. So I give Judd the Motrin and we wait till the fever drops a bit, I put a T-shirt on him and lay him back down for bed.

As soon as I lay Judd down and I proceed to lay my own head on the pillow, Bowen wakes up and his ear hurts, so we are up again for another 3 hours trying to calm him down. So Paul and I are now on day 2 of slim to none sleep!!

Monday morning, I call the Dr. and tell them what the past few hours have consisted of with my boys and can they please let me know what time I can bring them both in to be checked out? She says that the earliest time is 5pm, so we wait and continue to take medicine to keep the fevers at bay. Now mind you even with the meds the boys were still having fevers that were reading into the 103's, so I am home by myself(Paul had to work) all day with 2 kids who are very clingy and do not feel well. We had a lot of snuggle time on the couch and that was the only nice part of the sick time, my kids are all over the place and to snuggle on the couch for 4 hours, well you know they must not feel real well.

5pm, we are in the Dr's office, both boys have horrible ear infections in one ear with the signs of the infection creeping into the second. Judd' s was so bad they had to give him a shot. Now, I am pro fever, I think it is good and well to have a fever if it is under control. In most instances I will hold off on the antibiotic to see if the body will just fight it off itself, that is the ideal situation. But when we get to the Dr. and the fevers are still in the high 103's even with Motrin, I decide I am ready for them to feel better, so lets do it!

We left the Dr, and I feel pretty good, sometimes we go and there is nothing the Dr can do, it is viral, so to leave there with an answer as to what is ailing my children was nice. We go to the pharmacy, Paul meets us there and we swap kids. The prescription was going to take a while and I had a few things I was going to pick up at the grocery store, so off went Paul and the boys!

A few minutes later Paul calls me and says that Bowen is complaining of his belly hurting and is a bit lethargic, I ask him to check Bowen's temp again and call me back. When Paul calls me back and tells me Bowen's temp is 105.7 I tell him to take all his clothes off and wait by the phone while I call the DR back, so a few minutes go by and the Dr calls back and basically says that we need to take him into the ER and that 105 is the most they would say a fever should get to, and that anything above 105 can cause convulsions and or brain damage if the fever were to say that high for a while...GREAT!! So I call Paul back and tell him to pack up the kids, I am on my way home from the grocery store and I will be there in A couple minutes.

Here is where the Panic sets in for me as a mother. First of all I am not there to lay eyes on my child and see for myself if he is alright....I know you mothers know what I am saying. WELL, Paul calls me back and informs me that he took Bowen's temp again and it is now 106.3!!!!!! I without any hesitation tell him to throw the kids in the car, don't wait for me to get home, I will meet you at the ER.

I am knees to the earth at this point! I turn my car around and race to the hospital where I proceed to fill out what I need to fill out in order to expedite the process of them seeing my baby! While I am waiting on my family to arrive, the only thing that brings me comfort is to get on my face and pray to the Lord that cares more about my children than I do, So that is exactly what I did. I walked right out of the ER and fell to my knees and prayed out loud that God would protect my child an heal him in His name.

Meanwhile there are people walking in and out of the hospital right beside where I was praying, one of them must have been alarmed because before I knew it the security guard is out there asking me if I was alright, well no, I am not alright I am worried about my baby. I am a firm believer in prayer and I was adamantly calling out to the Ultimate Healer.

To make a really long story short, God answers my prayers and Bowen's fever began to immediately fall and by the time we left the ER it was 99.5. I am so thankful to God for looking after my family, and I am so thankful that my world, my life...my babies are fine!

I am looking forward to some good sleep tonight! Thank you once again for all the prayers, our God is good and your prayers were felt!

Judd turns ONE!!!!!

So here are my baby's one year birthday party pictures....well some of them, my friend Tandy took so many it would use all the memory on my blog to put them all up, so I chose a few of my favorites!!

It is hard to imagine that one year ago, I woke up to some real regular contractions...no mind you I never went into labor with Bowen so I was really surprised when this happened with Judd. We headed onto the hospital after I spoke with my Dr. and he urged us to come on!

We dropped Bowen off and headed that way. Well this whole time I am still thinking that I am having a c-section on Friday the 7th...not the case. The Dr. checks me and puts a few machines on my belly and sure enough my contractions were regular enough for the to take the baby then, September 4th!! I was so scared but excited at the same time!

Well, the moment I new he was here and alright, my life has never been the same, I take that back out family has never been the same.

This baby has such a sweet countenance, he is so snugly and he laughs at everything! He has brought a light to our house that can never be dimmed. I am so lucky to have 2 beautiful children who are happy and healthy!

As I look back and reflect on this year, I am reminded again of God's amazing blessings! How fast yet sweet this year was, filled with tons of love. I hope Judd knows without a shadow of a doubt that he is loved, not just by his family but His heavenly Father.

This day will forever be etched on the pages of my heart...along with many others. I love my family! I love my family!

Now here is a boy who loved his cake, he went right on after it! He was not too interested in the blowing out of the candle, so I handled that, but the cake, well it was great!!

This was just a collage of my favorite images!! I want to thank everyone who was a part of this special day, and for those who we would have loved to have been there but for whatever reasons could not make it!! You were sorely missed.... I am so honored that so many people gathered around my family and celebrated this occasion. Birthdays are special at our house, as for this birthday well the birth of my child....is one of the best days of my life, and I will celebrate this day, God willing for many, many years to come.

This year flew by so fast...just a reminder to savor every moment! Soak it all in and exhale with gratitude that I was able to witness this little boy's first year, his first cry, his first smile, his first laugh, his first word and love on his first cake! I love every second of it! I would change nothing, I am thankful for HIS provision in my life!

My prayer for the next year...well there is not enough memory on here to type it. But I trust that my Lord and savior has it all under control, he loves my baby and cares about his future , I am leaning on one of my favorite verses," For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

Judson David Estes, I will love you forever!

xxoo

your momma

Stuff....

No pictures in this post, just some stuff that has been happening in my own life and thoughts.

First off I have just started attending this bible study with a group of ladies I am so excited to get to know better. And I have read the first part of the study and I am already hooked. I think it is so awesome to see how God puts things together. The book is No Other God, by Kelly Mnter, and I don't want to put it down, I will not say much yet, but I am excited to see what God has in store for me to learn these next few weeks! I am ready and willing to soak HIM all in! This past year has come with it's ups and downs, and I am still through it all reminded that God is faithful! Friendships come and go and things don't always work out the way I had planned, but I believe and trust in God's provision and am trying to be content and rest there! Just to wrap that up I am thrilled to be a part of whatever He has for me to learn!!

I have had a low point lately, I don't know why or what, just low....Paul is great, the kids are great and I am blessed, just dealing with the blues. No pity party here, just a season...hopefully not a long one!!

On the other hand Tandy and I were asked to photograph a vow renewal and I just want to let you all know that I am so inspired by this couple!! I know they have been through the dessert the past few years and I think it is so awesome to see the miracle that GOD did to restore them and their marriage! There were so many amazing details, everything was so thought through and had such great meaning! I love that God still is in the miracle business, and that I truly believe this couple would not have made it without trusting and leaning on our Father! I am completely impressed with the marriage I witnessed this evening!! I am so glad that they stuck through it all, I believe God honors commitment and I can tangibly see Him working and shining through what could have been another divorce! I also think it was so awesome for them to have this celebration! It was on their actual anniversary and they had some very close friends who were there to rejoice and celebrate with them after standing beside them with tears and feeling the pain this couple was going through!! I could go on and on, but God is so GOOD!!!! I amazed at the things he does for myself and others...the things he has already done!!

And I was suppose to go and visit my family this weekend out in Stone Mountain and I can't because there is no gas at any of the gas stations in a 50 mile radius....and I will certainly run out before I find one!! So it is looking like tomorrow will end up a family day after all, sitting home and watching movies, let me rephrase that watching one movie, the same movie over and over and over again....who knows what movie Bowen will decide is his favorite tomorrow, but I am looking forward to finding out!! I hope you all (anyone who stops by and had the time to read this blog) has a wonderful weekend! I will post birthday pics soon!

Special Friends

Guy and Fibi, I want to first say thank you for always being so kind and generous and available! Anytime I have ever needed anything you have always been there, from watching my kids last minute, to wonderful converstaions over dinner, you guys are one of a kind. Never making us feel like we put you out, always opening your doors with a smile and a great heart! Most of all for loving my kids the way you do! Thank you, Thank you! I know you already know how special your family is to us, but I want you to really know we mean it when we say we love you guys!! This shoot was so fun and I think YaYa is so precious! I love all the images, I could not pick my favorite one of the day! Every other expression she make is so cute how could I choose!

I will be praying for you and your family as you travel far and wide! Please know you will be missed. I know how happy your family is to see you guys, enjoy it and we will have a delicious dinner together when you are all 3 home safe!! Love you!!