A little emotional!

I guess with my friends sending their kids off to full time school, I am really seeing how fleeting this time is with my babies. I am finding myself really just sitting and soaking them up, watching them play...really paying attention to how Bowen phrases things so I can hurry and write it in his baby book so I won't for get it! Not to mention I have been reading the book Cold Tangerines that my girlfriend Tandy let me read. I really have been trying to enjoy the present, the gift of today and my kids in this very moment!

I really am always waiting to be somewhere else in life, bigger house, 20lbs lighter. Sometimes I think I will have this big moment where I am an amazing photographer and I get some recognition..there fore my life will be better, different, more exciting! Why... why do I get hung up in the thoughts of events that may never happen? Why don't I look at my little house with toys flowing out of every room and think it is perfect? I am always thinking of the next house and how much room we will need... I am ready for fall....why (besides the relief of the blazing heat) When the fall hits, that means my babies are a year older.

So I am really trying to find the beauty in what I sometimes feel is mundane. I am soaking up my boys, and genuinely loving my husband for the man he is now, not the man he will be in a few years. I am crying over how simple it is to be content and savor this precious time, fill it with love and laughs. I somehow have complicated life waiting on my arrival.... when my arrival is in his crib asleep, and my arrival is in his big boy bed with his big boy undies on cause he does not need a diaper anymore (he thinks), my arrival just walked in the door. I am here...and THIS is my BIG MOMENT!!